Have you heard about the Merrimac and the Mentor? The Mentor beat the third ironclad ship in the world! See, the Southerners found this half-made ship so they, like, finish up the ship, but they make it covered with iron!
So, like, the next day, they go over to where the Northerners have a port, and start sinking ships, and the Northerners are really scared 'cause they only have wood ships!
So this guy from Sweden (who's named Ericsson) finishes up his ship that looked like a cheesebox on a raft. And the little tiny boat beats this huge gynormous ship!
Time for a little historical context, don't ya think?
True confession time: I grew up in California, and was a teenager during the days of the Valley Girl. That was the 1980s, for the spring chickens in the group. (Fer sure, fer sure.) And I knew how to talk like that.
Most of the Valley Girl slang disappeared from my conversation as I grew older, but unfortunately, the words "like" and "you know" have embedded themselves in my vocabulary. They have taken up residence and refuse to leave. (Oh, my children, and oh, the children of my heart, beware the habits you learn in your youth.) I have no one but myself to blame for this narration. Lol.
I'm going to see if we can rework some of this in a more 1860s context.
(Here is one of Mariel's more acceptable historic young person narrations.)