Do you remember Aesop's fable of the sun and the wind? The sun and the wind wanted a traveler to take off his cloak. The wind blew with all his might, but the traveler only wrapped the cloak tighter around himself. Then the sun came out and shone until the traveler removed his cloak and sat down to rest in the shade.
Kindness affects more persuasion than bluster. Even when we shine and the traveler keeps his cloak on, we must continue our kind ways and not be triggered into frustrated responses. It takes time for a person to warm up enough to take off their coat and stay awhile.