She presents one thought that has stuck with me for almost a week:
Very simply, each spouse must contribute the same number of hours each day to productive activities that directly contribute to the well-being of the household...If your family has one wage-earner, the stay-at-home spouse should expect to work an equal amount of time at home, from the time the wage earner leaves until he or she returns home.
I completely agree with her. I don't think this means the SAHM has to be working her fingers to the bone every second her husband is at work, but yeah, we shouldn't be slouching around.
Do I contribute the same amount of hours working as Mr. Honey? I don't want to divide it down to the last bean-counting, but do I spend enough hours working?
I have to say that my husband is a workhorse. He works hard, he works long hours, and he has a long commute to work. And he does paperwork when he comes home at night. I did work that hard when the kids were smaller, but they are growing up now. They have reached the stage where they are chore-doing assets rather than chore-creating liabilities.
So he is driving all over creation every day, meeting and greeting and delivering and fixing, and coming home and doing paperwork. I am at home every day, planning, cleaning, supervising, correcting, paying bills, driving kids places, fixing dinner, taking care of clothes. But I have three able assistants. I am pretty sure I have the cushier position. (After all, I can stop down in the afternoon and have a snack and write a blog post.)
Amy Dacyzyn points out that "being a stay-at-home parent is a privilege that many working parents desperately want but have yet to achieve." I do not want to forget that. I don't want to get into tit for tat thinking either, but I do want to pull my own weight. I am able to do some things now that I couldn't a few years ago.