Commitments

I am letting the kids sleep in today. They have had late rehearsals the last two nights, and performances for the next three nights, so I am letting them sleep in. I have stretched our school schedule out to July 1st in order to make life a little more rational for us. One of the advantages of homeschooling. :)

The reason I have not been blogging all that much this year is because this year is crazy busy. I did it myself. Oh yes, the kids wanted all these activities, but I am the one who agreed, and the Warrior Poet just shook his head and let me. He likes us to learn from experience.

This week is similar to a week we had in October, and one more we will have at the end of this month. It is tech week for the homeschool drama club's production of Peter Pan, and at the last minute Mariel and Aravis Cornflower (see how tired I am?) were given the opportunity to perform at a benefit for Japan relief with their orchestra. And Friday and Saturday the kids have rehearsals for the Texas history play they will be performing at the end of the month.

I love all this busyness. I admit it. I love theater and music and performing. I love the excitement of helping them get their skills and inspiration together, and then cheering them on. What I don't love is running out of sandwich bags and feeling like I don't have time to call the insurance agent about hail damage and finding out one of my family members just ran out of underwear.

So we can't live like this next year. I'm pretty sure this lifestyle is not God's will for our family because He never gives us more than we can handle, and I can't handle quite this many commitments without dropping the ball on basic duties I signed up for when I became a wife and mother.

One of my pet peeves is when folks back out of commitments. As in, I agreed to do this, or participate in this, etc., but it has become hard for me, or I don't like the way it is organized, or I don't like the people, so I am going to drop out. I have a very hard time respecting someone who does this. And people do it all the time.

The other day I self-righteously looked up the Bible reference regarding "swearing to your own hurt" so I could glory in my own determination to see our commitments through this year, and guess what? That verse has context. And the Lord has a sense of humor. It sure took the wind out of my sails.

Here it is-- Psalm 15 in its entirety:

1Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill?

2He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.

3He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.

4In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the LORD. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.

5He that putteth not out his money to usury, nor taketh reward against the innocent. He that doeth these things shall never be moved.

Who then can be saved, right? As I gloried in swearing to my own hurt and changing not, I was thinking ill of my neighbor, who in all probability was trying to meet other, older commitments by backing out of newer ones. Ouch. Besides, I love keeping these new commitments, so where is the honor in that?

I will say that I have seen improvement in the habits of my lackadaisical child this year-- the busyness and her desire to participate has upped her commitment to get her schoolwork done, keep her room clean, etc. This is a great thing. We need to back off of some of these activities next year, but I do not want to eliminate them altogether, especially since it seems this particular child (who will remain nameless) is energized by performing and interacting with friends. (She must be an extrovert.) So I want to have my 'budgeting eyes' on regarding time and energy and do a cost-benefit analysis as I pick and choose next year's activities. The Lord teaches something similar in Luke 14 regarding discipleship, but I think it applies to planning a year too:

28For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?

29Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,

30Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.

I want to finish, and finish well. But it isn't only about homeschooling, or giving the kids opportunities, or even raising them. It is about living together and loving one another and glorifying God. I want to continue excellently in my old commitments, and only add new ones as they can be added without neglect for my 'ancient' vows.