Life as a Raid or Great Adventure

What is right with the world has nothing to do with future changes, but is rooted in original realities."

--G.K. Chesterton, What is Right with the World

The news is depressing.  Strangely, I almost wish it was already January 1st.  I just want to know what is going to happen with the fiscal cliff.  And what will happen in the next decade with foreign issues like terrorism and domestic issues like healthcare.  Worry, worry, worry.  I need to stop reading the news so much.  I do not need up-to-the-minute coverage.

I already know what is ultimately going to happen.  The Lord will come in the clouds and every knee shall bow and we will all go to live with him in glory.  Before that, we will live on earth and deal with the good and evil under the sun and be delivered in or through trouble.  "In this world you will have tribulation, but be not dismayed. I have overcome the world."  We will draw closer to him or we will rebel.  He will sustain us through pain and sorrow or we will forget him and lose that earnest of our inheritance.  Yet when we die we will be with him.  Who or what can separate us from Christ Jesus?  No one and no thing.  Not even our very own selves.  Let me not forget this.  But if I do forget-- I am a sinner, Lord help my unbelief! I will still ultimately be united with my Savior.

Do I really need detailed information on what will happen in the coming months?

Chesterton, again:  "We are to regard existence as a raid or great adventure; it is to be judged, therefore, not by what calamities it encounters, but by what flag it follows and what high town it assaults. The most dangerous thing in the world is to be alive; one is always in danger of one's life. But anyone who shrinks from this is a traitor to the great scheme and experiment of being."

What high town am I assaulting with my existence if I whine and fret?

I must fly in the face of gloom.  I am off to make beds and do dishes and wash clothes and generally redeem household things and comfort family and friends.  Open siege on disorder!  Let me know when my strength is required for greater things; right now I am building my house.

Bread

I want to post more.  A lot of life is happening at our house.  Some I can share and some I cannot.  I wonder if I can post every day for the next few weeks?  If I do, and I hope I will, my posts will probably contain meandering thoughts rather than anything coherent.  Bear with me. :)

This morning we read Ann Voskamp's post, "When Your Christmas Stretches You".  I highly recommend it.  We generally do not have the hectic Christmas most people experience.  Some of our family do not celebrate Christmas and most of them live far, far away.  We visited them last year and this year will stay home.

Without going into much detail, I will say my family is dealing with hardship right now.  I've been open on this blog about our debt, and thankfully we are pretty much finished paying it off.  We have a few doctor bills and a family loan that should be done in a couple months, provided our income level stays the same.

Our income has been going down for the last couple years.  It continues to slide.  This is one sad thing that is happening to us.  Dave Ramsey would say we have an income problem, not a budget problem.  The amazing part is that we are still current on our bills.  I don't know how long that will last, but I know who holds tomorrow.

The reason for the income problem is the Warrior Poet's health.  He is a salesman and is struggling to sell while in pain from back problems.  I have taken on quite a few piano students to offset the loss.  I now teach every weekday afternoon but Friday.  I love it.  I can't believe I get to do something I love to help us through this tribulation.  It feels like cheating to me.

This thought makes me realize that I do not really believe God delights in giving good gifts to his children.  It isn't cheating that God gave me a love of music and parents that could afford to let me take piano lessons and who left me alone to develop my skill without a lot of nagging.  It is a gift from God that I do not deserve but that he was delighted to give me.  God is still giving to me and helping me give to my family in a way that expands my soul.  Nurturing my students' love of music is a soul-expanding exercise as well as a discipline and I get to do it almost every day.  How glorious.

Back to Christmas.  I don't really know what is going to happen this year.  My parents gave us a tree since we aren't going to visit the Christmas tree farm.  They even gave us pine-scented air freshener so the house will smell right.  No, I do not deserve it.  That is why it is called a gift.  Not cheating or being lazy. Why do I think like that?

I pray that the Lord will help me defeat this devilish thought and see his good gifts for what they are.  Satan, get thee behind me.  It is true that the life of grace stretches us, like Ann says.  I don't feel like I am living all that graciously, but the Lord is stretching me, teaching me to give up expectations, to await his gifts with open hands and no requirements, either for my work or for his gifts.  No deal-breakers, because I am not bargaining with God nor am I earning my way.  My work should be my love for him manifest in action.

My dreams have to become his dreams, perhaps my dream of our life is not what he has for us.  Like Heidi, I have to give up my hoarded basket of hard, stale bread and wait on the Lord, who brings fresh loaves, enough for today's meal and a promise of more tomorrow.

Another thing.  Many people are dealing with worse problems than ours.  I cannot tell you the hardships some of our close friends have to walk through.  I feel guilty that I am so upset about our situation.  We are all together.  We are all healthy, except the Warrior Poet's back.  Our family and friends are showing God's love to us, constantly helping us.  I am a dramatic worrier, that is true.  I need help replacing that worry and the guilty feeling that follows.  It is true we will not be satisfied until we are in the presence of the Lord, but I want to take life minute by minute and rejoice in the Lord and the little things while working like anything to improve our lot.  Lord, help me to do it, and not to glory in my work!  But to glory in your provision.  And help me to love my friends that are experiencing hardships, to be your hands and feet for them.

Building a Tree

Today we went to the Kimbell for a lesson on architecture.  Little La's building intrigued me, so I am breaking the bloggy silence with a photo essay.

Building is much more friendly with two.  

"What is it going to be?"  

"A redwood tree."

Toothpick branches

Tissue, toothpicks and glue

It begins to resemble a tree.

Concentration

To be continued, perhaps...