There is a way in which you oppose somebody and you define boundaries and limits and you are even willing to lay your life on the line to stop them from doing something. At the same moment, you don’t close your heart to them. And what they experience because they are in their minds, is they see you as an enemy. But their hearts know differently.This reminds me of the maidservant, Martha, in The Secret Garden. Martha is an older teen who serves a rigidly strict, harsh housekeeper. She befriends Mary Lennox, a sour and neglected child just back from India. Martha quietly opposes the housekeeper's cruelty as much as she can. She encourages Mary to visit and play with the sick boy, Colin, who is kept shut up in a far part of the house. This is strictly forbidden, but Martha knows children need to be children, need fresh air and companionship.
The housekeeper finally breaks down after "losing control" over the household, because she fears the wrath of the absentee father. (He has his own issues.) Martha finds her overwrought and sobbing, sits with her and comforts her-- comforts this woman who has given her so much grief, scolded and even rapped her on the head. First, Martha opposes her with heartfelt compassion, like water flowing past a stone, then makes it easy for her to return to grace.
Me, I want to do this.
As the article says, I must first let go of self-righteousness, the lies I tell myself that I know better than to behave the way that other person is behaving. I'M not like that. Haha. This is me forgetting where I came from, forgetting that I come from a place of sin. I may know better now, but it's because of learning and light, and there's a good chance whatever that other person is doing is something I had to learn not to do because it's very hard to not do it.
A person who pulls himself up from a low environment via the bootstrap route has two choices. Having risen above his environment, he can forget it; or, he can rise above it and never forget it and keep compassion and understanding in his heart for those he has left behind him in the cruel upclimb. (Betty Smith)I don't want to choose the forgetting way. If I have climbed uphill until I've gotten to right action and proper behavior, if by God's grace I have good habits, in rising above it I want to never forget it and keep compassion and understanding in my heart for those behind me.
But what if I've never struggled in that way? What if my bootstraps didn't need pulling? What if, from a child, I was given guidance in good habits, and nothing occurred to derail my learning? What if my disposition and circumstances are such that, as Jane Eyre says, "It is so easy to be careful"?
There's a scripture for that. It's in Romans, that good letter Paul wrote to remind us we are saved by grace, that no one should boast, that no one should choose the forgetting way. After a long list of ugly attitudes and behaviors, Paul writes:
Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.Regardless of personal experience, this applies to us all. It's there in Romans.
You, me, and the cherry tree. None good. None means none. And as for right action and proper behavior, anyone who bets on that better get every single thing right. Every. Single. Thing. It's all or nothing with the law:
For as many as have sinned without law shall also perish without law: and as many as have sinned in the law shall be judged by the law; For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified.And see what he did there? He said making sure you read your Bible isn't enough. Being in church isn't enough. You have to actually act righteously ever moment of every day. And that is impossible for us, even those of us who find it easy to be careful. Because, well, pride. Pride is a sin. We do well, and then we get puffed up, and then, boom. In fact, we prop up our good behavior with the sin of pride ("I know better than to do that!") rather than asking God to uphold us with his free spirit. (Psalm 51:12).
By we I mean me, of course.
I get SO MAD. Fighting mad. Because I've learned the things. My goodness, other person, CATCH UP.
I've learned a few things, but I haven't learned a great many other things. I need to catch up, too! But gosh, all this running and striving... the writer of Hebrews says rest. Depart not from God. Resist being hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (I think pride is the most deceitful sin there is.) Let us labor to enter into that rest. It is indeed a labor, because pride is deceitful and tells me I have arrived. Oh no, lying heart. You have not arrived until you rest in Christ. It is only through Him that everything is covered.
I find I oppose myself as this person in front of me opposes himself. I feed my lust as he does. Do I like my opinions a little too much? Do I preen myself in the sunlight of my own behavior? It is possible for a person to disdain selfies while indulging many snapshots of her own 'righteous' attitudes and behavior. God knows the heart.
Yuck. The heart can be so horrid. But I need to examine it to find compassion for those who create suffering, who oppose themselves. There is only One righteous, and I'm not Him.
The most amazing thing about Jesus is that He is perfect and also perfectly compassionate. HOW DOES HE DO THAT? Wow wow wow. I get one thing right, and I'm all over the place admonishing people to catch up. He gets everything right, and still treats wrong with lovingkindness. His yoke is easy. Amazing.
All that to say-- it's hard for a Pharisee to turn over a new leaf. But all things are possible with God.